There are some nights when people annoy me so much that I can't sleep from the unsatisfied urge to slap them upside the head.
For example, I had a woman bring her two children to the dojo. The little girl really wants to do karate, but that doesn't seem to matter. The mom wants it for the son, who is a rude smartass. She wants him to learn the discipline that she is failing to teach. He, on the other hand, doesn't want to learn either karate or discipline.
She came to us because of our 30 day free special. OK, if you are reading this and don't know yet, I'm going to let you in on an insider marketing secret - there is no company that offers free products or services just for the joy of giving away free products or services. The freebies are an enticement for customers to try what the company is offering. While we will cheerfully and absolutely give someone free classes for a month, we offer it with the hope that the person will like what they see enough to trade it in for a discount on a regular program. shhhhhh
I explained the program and discount to her slowly, using graphics to illustrate. English is her second language, so I had my husband explain it again in Japanese, despite his and her protests that her English is fine. After several explanations, she decided that she wanted to think about it and let the kids try another class. Perfectly fine. Sometimes people need to see a little more. Sometimes that's their polite way of stopping the conversation because they aren't interested. I don't push it. In fact, I'm a terrible salesperson because if they don't come back I don't contact them again. I want students who love us, not who I've bullied into joining.
She came back. The kids took class. Afterward I asked her if she wanted to sign up. She had to think about it some more. Sure, no problem. She came back again. I again asked her if she'd made a decision. She said she'd sign up after the month free. I reminded her that she either got 30 days free or the discount, but not both. She acted surprised. She said she'd sign up at the end of class. Except, at the end of class I had to teach, so I told her I'd catch her next time. By now she's had over a week to think about it.
She came back, ready to sign up. I got the paperwork together, she looked at it, pointed to the price, and asked, "what's this?" I told her it was the monthly tuition. She looked shocked. "Oh!" she said, "I thought that was the price for 6 months" which came $31/month. for a family. or $7.50 per month per person.
I felt the words "are you fucking stupid or what?" rise to my lips but luckily I was able to bite them back. I couldn't stop the "we wouldn't be able to stay open if that's all we charged" from coming out. I'm sure it showed on my face because she said, "I just thought it was a really good deal." I had to walk away. It's been 24 hours and I'm still incredulous. And the kicker is - it took her a week and a half to decide that even that ridiculously good deal was worth it. At this point, if she changed her mind and did want to sign up, I'd probably tell her no because every transaction ever with this woman will turn into a headache. (SLAP UPSIDE THE HEAD)
Another example - about once a week some Zumba instructor gets on the message board to complain about how greedy their bosses are. They take a job getting paid the same hourly wage as board-certified, college-degreed nurses in my area and think they are doing great. But then one day, they realize the class has a lot of people, they multiply the numbers times the class fee and decide it equals them being cheated.
I never hear someone flipping burgers at McDonald's saying, "Man, I sure am making a lot of burgers. I should get a percentage of those profits." or the mechanic at the dealership saying, "I fix a lot of cars. This dealership is taking advantage of me for not giving me a piece of each one I fix."
Instructors feel that they are getting cheated because the boss is making "x" amount of money, yet they don't seem to take into account things like rent, utilities, and risk. I have yet to hear an instructor say, "I didn't have many people in my class tonight so I told my boss to pay me less." (SMACK UPSIDE THE HEAD)
And then there's this week's favorite. I got a message from a random instructor on facebook who wants to "co-teach" my class and even gave me a date that works for her. I love when other instructors come to my class and I always invite them to teach a song or two. But I really feel that they should wait until they are invited, especially if I don't know them and have never seen them teach.
I explained that I already co-teach with someone on a regular basis and have another instructor in training that also does a song or two but that she was welcome to do 2 songs. I also explained that I needed them in advance since we use a cd for that class. She told me she'd just bring her own sound system and when I said no to that, she said she'd send me a list. ummm...a list of 2?
So I'm sitting here wondering how often this happens with other professions. "Hey Mr. Lawyer! I'm a lawyer too and thought I'd come out and work a trial with you!" "Hi Doc! I'm a surgeon too and thought I'd show up and help you out with a surgery some day." or "Hello, there, Chef! I like to cook so I'm going to come whip some stuff up in your kitchen for your customers."
When you think about it like that it sounds really weird, doesn't it? (SLAP UPSIDE THE HEAD)
I feel slightly better.
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